Cutting in Line.

Shit, if only I was a small, cute girl with a bloody bow in my hair, who gets boys to let her cut the rest of us normal people in line.

Girl: “Oh, I have a bow and I’m small and look at me, I’m in a hurry!”

Boy: “Here, you can go in front of me!”
People behind boy in queue: *glare*

Girl: “I have a bow, did I mention? It means I’m indie, tee hee.”

Boy: “Uh, yeah, like cool. I have a backpack in Rasta colours even though I just smoke pot and don’t really know what it means. It’s made from an alternative material, which means I’m alternative, which means I like to fuck girls with bows in their hair.”

Girl: “Tee hee!”

The Baby Rant

People have been cooing over a baby for almost 10mins now.
Congrats, you figured out how to have unprotected sex, now please shut up.
I’m sure its a lovely small human who won’t grow up a dictator or serial killer or anything but you don’t get the Nobel Prize for its creation.
I have nothing against kids or people who want to have them, it just bugs me when they act like birthing is the sum of their life’s worth.
You are an extremely uncreative soul if the only thing you can do with your life is something organisms have been doing for ~1.2bil years.